had a very peaceful and pleasant day with jason. That guy has been around for 2 years. I can dig it.

Currently listening to: Moss Icon

janeen and I had a sweet and successful arts and crafts session a few days ago. I bedazzled a koozie, and she made an awesome card for her boyfriend, Mark:

it’s amazing that this roof can contain our creativity. I mean, really….

Last night Jason and I went to see Frodus, and my ongoing battle with alcohol and raging came up again (ew literally too), and needless to say I don’t remember much except the yelling. I wonder if it’s something I will always struggle with, or if some day I will conquer all of my “addictions” I feel the need to continuously feed. Once I became clean years ago I fought fire with fire instead of just being brave. I don’t want to have to wonder anymore.

The pool always gives me high hopes though, I’ve spent the past few days lounging and I’m getting quite good at it!

My heart is getting happier, and I’m getting healthier.

Currently Listening to: Ben Nichols

good night, with good friends.

I’m still discouraged. I came here to be involved in what I love, and what I’ve wanted to do since I was 13. For whatever reason, it isn’t working out and people who I felt like have been my friends are slamming doors in my face.

Sucks for them.

Currently listening to: The Hold Steady

the past few months I’ve been able to predict when my moods will change, and adapt accordingly. so far, I’ve been doing alright. I’m off meds and visiting dr. schroeder when i can. moving from south carolina to florida was stressful, and i miss my best friend, Alysha, so much. I’m not really making many friends here (gainesville). Aside from being socially inept and awkward, I am also incredibly broke and jobless which hinders my ability to go out and mingle. there are still days where I have to force myself out of bed, and force myself to go places. sometimes it physically hurts and drains me but I’m getting better.

my stencil project is coming along–elias you’re the greatest inspiration. there are other projects in the works but right now I’m focusing on getting Sakes Alive!! healthy and on the road. Chris and I worked on the tour press release today, and I’m so excited for their summer excursion alongside some really solid friends/bands. Initially I was going, but I couldn’t get away for a month. Having only $26 to your name doesn’t help matters, either. However, I do wish them the best and am completely stoked for Act II. Those boys are like family to me and I’m happy there are still people who make me love music all over again.

I saw my sister today too! I’m happy she has a beautiful family and it’s really nice to be able to see them, even for a short while. I do miss my family and hope that one day I will be able to find my birthparents, and whatever families they have now. It’s hard to believe that I (might) have half brothers and sisters out there, who maybe don’t even know I exist. It’s a creepy feeling, and until I meet them I will always feel like part of me is missing. A very big part.

In the meantime, I’m hoping the next few days are the last of my insomnia, until next time.

Currently listening to: Cap’n Jazz